Comments on: When Mentors Fail Us

By: edcabellon

edcabellon — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 07:58:34 +0000

Thanks for commenting Madeline, I'm glad you got something out of this post. I think Student Affairs needs to have more conversations about Ethics and how to handle situations like these, especially in our graduate programs.

Take care and best wishes.

By: Madeline Shoemaker

Madeline Shoemaker — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 04:30:08 +0000

Ed, this story is so similar to one that I just recently experienced prior to my entrance into the grad program at ASU.

Thank you so much for sharing – one of my mentors was convicted and admitted to embezzlement of our F/S organizations. This makes me feel less alone in some of the feelings I've been processing.

By: Building Bridges and Getting Over Them « The Student Affairs Collaborative

Building Bridges and Getting Over Them « The Student Affairs Collaborative — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:54:32 +0000

[...] month ago, I shared a very personal story and I wanted to write a quick follow up. After posting it, I received an outpouring of support [...]

By: alexandrasousa

alexandrasousa — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:56:36 +0000

That decision is very tough because I too know what it is like to be betrayed by someone and it's heartrending. In a way I feel that you should visit her just to get everything off your shoulders. You have the opportunity to release all your unanswered questions. You also don't want to go through life asking yourself “What would it have been like to visit her?” “Would all my worries finally subside?” The person who betrayed me suddenly disappeared and I have lost absolute contact with her and it bugs me every now and then because I was unable to release all my emotions. I feel that she still has no idea how much she affected me. Therefore, I feel that if you have the opportunity to clear your mind of this issue, you should go for it.

By: Jeff Jackson

Jeff Jackson — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 05:56:23 +0000

Ed, thanks for sharing. I can't imagine what that was like for you. Student Affairs is not a profession where you can separate you personal and professional feelings. When something like this happens it not only hurts you, but you'r colleagues, students, former students, and friends.

If it were me, this is how I would approach it.
First, I would write down all the questions I need answered for closure. Then I would reach out via email and start a dialogue. This could bring you closure, but if you do decide to visit you will not be going in cold. Then if you feel you need to visit to close the book go. However there is a chance your visit could be unsatisfactory depending on how she is approaching the visits.

If it matters I would probably visit, but then again I am not in your shoes.