I’ve been holding back for a long time on writing this. This is the first time, publicly, I’m sharing my perspective on the scandal that went down at Tufts University two+ years ago. It’s very personal for me, but something that I wanted to do because I’m ready for closure and need your help in making an important decision. So here goes.
November 14th, 2007 is a day that will forever be etched in my professional and personal life. The ACUI Regional Conference was starting and my dear friend and colleague, Erin Morrell and I were waiting in the hotel lobby for our 30+ International Delegates from Ireland and the UK to arrive. We had worked hard for months to pull together a fantastic program for them and it was just about to start.
Then, a phone call came from my friend Laura:
“Hello?”
“(crying, sobbing) Ed? Is that you?”
“Yes, Laura? What’s wrong!?! Why are you crying? Is everything OK?”
“No, it’s about Jodie. You need to sit down. I wanted you to hear this from me before it hit the papers tomorrow. Jodie has admitted to stealing over $300,000 from TSR (Tufts Student Resources business) and our department account. Apparently, she’s been doing it since 2000 or so.”
<silence>
“Ed? Did you hear what I just said?”
“WHAT?!? I can’t believe this, are you sure?”
“Yes, she just admitted it to the investigators.”
In that moment, my entire professional career seemed a fallacy.
Jodie Nealley was the Director of Student Activities at Tufts University and my first supervisor out of graduate school. She was my mentor. As the Assistant, and subsequently, Associate Director in the Office of Student Activities at Tufts, I worked closely with Jodie and our staff to build student life on campus. From 2000-2005, I served as adviser to the Programming Board and multiple Greek Organizations, and was also responsible for the building the Leadership Program. From 2005 – 2006, I was responsible for the operations of the Mayer Campus Center and worked closely with student employees. According to testimony, she started taking money slowly (due to a gambling addiction) and over the course of six years, the numbers added up. After hearing this news, I felt so stupid for not knowing this was happening right under our noses. How did we all miss this?
I was hurt and betrayed beyond anything I had ever felt before. This was worse than anything I ever thought I have experienced in Student Affairs.
At that time, many of my former students called and/or visited me to process what had happened. They wanted to go through the grieving process with me because the vision of Jodie as the mentor, friend, and supervisor they knew was no longer there.
As the story developed, we all learned that a second co-worker, Ray Rodriguez, was also charged with embezzling of over $600,000 of the Student Senate’s money. According to reports, both of them were stealing INDEPENDENTLY of each other. It was another punch to the gut and I was shell shocked for a long time. Honestly, I’ve never really gotten over this feeling of betrayal that I buried deep inside. However, last summer finally brought closure to the case, as both Jodie and Ray were found guilty and got two year prison sentences plus restitution obligations.
I thought I would find closure through the numerous conversations I had with students and staff, but I haven’t. Think about your professional MENTOR. How would you feel if you found out that during your time together, she or he lied to you everyday they worked with you? All of those staff meetings, retreats, one on one meetings, and “teachable moments” would be faded, stale memories.
However, I won’t allow this to tarnish the honest, hard work that the rest of the staff and students put in. I know the work we did was excellent and I believe that through our experiences together, I’m a better professional today.
Last week, I was contacted by a former Tufts staff member over Facebook chat. He told me that he visited Jodie in jail and shared with me that she looked better, had done a lot of reflecting, and wanted to relay a message to all of us that she was truly sorry and knows that she let us all down. He sent me Jodie’s mailing address as well as information on visiting if I chose to. He thought it would be good for me, but I’m not so sure. So far, he’s been the only person from Tufts to visit her, other than her partner and son. The last time I spoke with Jodie was when I served as a reference for Laura.
Part of me is curious and wants to go and confront her to give me “closure”. Another part of me wants to let things be, and just move on. I’m so torn.
What would you do? Thanks for reading and letting me share my story.
More Online Articles About This Story:
http://www.tuftsdaily.com/2.5511/tsr-tcu-senate-have-evidence-suggesting-nealley-took-funds-1.589564 (2007)
http://www.tuftsdaily.com/alleged-embezzlers-arraigned-1.613895 (2008)
http://www.tuftsdaily.com/nealley-and-rodriguez-plead-not-guilty-during-arraignment-1.613284 (2008)
This is a cross-post on the Student Affairs Blog and On The Go!
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Thanks for sharing. I think that if you are really looking for closure, then you should go visit her & talk about the sitution.
Wow, Ed. Thinking about all of the people I've learned from over the years – it'd be really hard to find out if any one of them was, in fact, betraying me. I think in this case, she was out of control. I don't think that forgives her actions, but I think addiction is such a seriously powerful thing that it just takes over. I think it's great that you not let it tarnish – mentally – what you did together. Personally, I would have a hard time separating the personal betrayal from the professional lessons.
Thanks Pete, I appreciate your feedback!
Sara-Jane, that is exactly what I am struggling with and I don't know if I ever will be able to. What I can do is visit her and talk through what I've been thinking about for the last two years to give me closure. It's just the follow through I'm worried about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, much appreciated!
Ed, you know I never asked you about this issue because I knew it was a sensitive subject. From reading your post I can tell it is still something that goes to you core. As a mentor yourself you have had to tell people to do the hard things and do what they resist. It will not be easy for you to do so but in order to obtain closure and truly heal I think you need to hear the words from her to see if she is truly feeling remorse for what she did. It may sting and be tough for a while, but it is the way that you can fully heal from the betrayal you feel.
If you ever need someone to go with you, or support I'm always here for you buddy!
Ed, thanks for sharing. I can't imagine what that was like for you. Student Affairs is not a profession where you can separate you personal and professional feelings. When something like this happens it not only hurts you, but you'r colleagues, students, former students, and friends.
If it were me, this is how I would approach it.
First, I would write down all the questions I need answered for closure. Then I would reach out via email and start a dialogue. This could bring you closure, but if you do decide to visit you will not be going in cold. Then if you feel you need to visit to close the book go. However there is a chance your visit could be unsatisfactory depending on how she is approaching the visits.
If it matters I would probably visit, but then again I am not in your shoes.
That decision is very tough because I too know what it is like to be betrayed by someone and it's heartrending. In a way I feel that you should visit her just to get everything off your shoulders. You have the opportunity to release all your unanswered questions. You also don't want to go through life asking yourself “What would it have been like to visit her?” “Would all my worries finally subside?” The person who betrayed me suddenly disappeared and I have lost absolute contact with her and it bugs me every now and then because I was unable to release all my emotions. I feel that she still has no idea how much she affected me. Therefore, I feel that if you have the opportunity to clear your mind of this issue, you should go for it.
Ed, this story is so similar to one that I just recently experienced prior to my entrance into the grad program at ASU.
Thank you so much for sharing – one of my mentors was convicted and admitted to embezzlement of our F/S organizations. This makes me feel less alone in some of the feelings I've been processing.
Thanks for commenting Madeline, I'm glad you got something out of this post. I think Student Affairs needs to have more conversations about Ethics and how to handle situations like these, especially in our graduate programs.
Take care and best wishes.
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